Dear Visitors of a New Baby,
Before you visit you may want to take these things into account.
If it can be helped, do not set up plans to see the baby before it has arrived. Birth is a tricky thing and even the “planned” ones do not go as planned. Give the family time to adjust and settle in before reaching out. Mama, doesn’t know how she will be feeling, what she will need to recover from or how quickly or slowly that will go. Be sensitive to this. That being said…
You’ve gotten the call, text or tweet. The baby is here! Now you are bursting at the seams to meet this new little person.
Don’t be pushy. Seeing the baby is not a race or competition. (The newborn smell does last a while.) đŸ˜‰
Ask the new parents when would be best for you to visit.
Do not come if you are sick or live with someone who is.
Wash your hands when you get there and before holding the baby.
Ask the family if they need anything before coming.
Do not pick up the baby without asking. If Mom does not offer to let you hold the baby don’t ask. Mama, just went through torture to get baby here and she gets to call the shots.
Keep your visits short.
Bring food.
Don’t come the day they get home from the hospital.
Don’t come on the third day. That’s the day the new mother will have raging hormones, find herself crying for no particular reason, and be in the shower dealing with her engorged breasts.
Do not comment negatively on mother appearance, baby’s appearance, baby name or state of the home. These things are all better left unsaid.
Do not say anything in regards to the delivery except for “you did amazing”, no stories of your experience or your friends. Just “great job”, “Do you need anything?”, and “I’m leaving now so you can rest”. This is a very delicate time for the new mother. She is not well rested, not physically comfortable or emotionally stable.
Please do not assume that all of this does not apply to you, because you are family, or you understand, or you think that your above this. This applies.
If you are from out-of-town coming to see the baby. Come only when asked to. Stay at a hotel and make sure you’re not expecting to be spending much time with baby and mama at all. Unless you are fully planning on waiting on Mama like she is the queen.
I know you’re so excited to see that new baby. You want to hold it and snuggle and kiss every inch but in your hurry to get to the baby don’t forget, the mama matters. Treat her gentle. She is not a simply a vehicle that has produced this very adorable child. She is a tired, emotional, amazing woman who needs to know your going to be considerate of her needs just as much as your excited to see the baby.
Brand new mom or an “old pro” these guidelines still apply. Each birth is different but no less a challenge. Each baby born is new and has to be learned. Mama needs time on her own to process her experience, to learn her new baby, and to rest. Please be respectful. Don’t worry. You will get to have your share of new baby cuddles. You will at some point be welcomed with open arms and an offer to hold the new squish.
Just like the coming of the new baby should be greeted with joy, let your visit be the same. Don’t come too soon, in your timing, with your wants at the front. It will stain your visit with a lasting negative. Just be patient and respectful.
“Dear Children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
1 JOHN 3:18
The Savory Pen 